Tell Me Why Are We So Blind To See

"Never forget the battles you've fought and won." -Leo McGary, West Wing

"Qui est garde par une etoile ne regarde jamais en arriere." - Leo da Vinci

I am undoubtedly a libra. I've never really put too much stock in the zodiac, but over the past few years, I've come into contact with plenty of people that do. And its starting to make sense in my case. I have definite extremes in my personality and yet I strive for a balance. While you may say that this is common to most people, I don't really think that it is. I consistently am attempting to calm my inner humours by reason and logic. My romantic by the classic. I feel outwardly repressed by conscious decisions, not innate ones. I think, therefore I am. Its a concerted attempt, in other words, to hold myself together. To manage in society. To behave.

Alas. I sometimes think I was more an adult when I was 17 than now. Because now I feel almost like a caged bird. Knowledge is power, or is it torture?

Do I want responsibility or do I want slow and easy? I'm supposed to be living in the moment. Live for now, appreciate this day, don't wish it away (a time for everything under heaven). That is my mantra....la vie en rose. La vie en rose. La vie en rose. But whenever I try, I get feedback from someone who makes me feel ashamed of myself, of my job. Its hard to relax when you're constantly pressed to move forward.
This 24th year will be for me. For making decisions according to my personal agenda. Out of debt, and bien dans ma peau. Then, I will be able to care better for others around me.